No, that is not an allusion to the movie Juno. The title which I so affectionately chose is [loosely] based on the true story of a day in the life. Lately, through the nightly(more like 3-4 times a week) calls I've been having, I've come to the slow realization that many problems have been coalescing into one big stanky mess. It all had to implode at the same approximate time. Truly tragic in every context of the word. The house of cards has met a strong pale of wind and has tumbled floated down to the horizon.
And yet I muse, 5 more weeks until the release from this prison of the mind! Soon, the songbirds of yesteryesteryesteryear will rejoice my return. Then gloom and doom, reality hits me full force--my doe eyes come to the realization that I've unfinished business to attend to. I've loose ends that need snipping. I don't mean to gripe about the current status of his and my relationship (I can see that it too is getting to be as old and as tired as I feel) but it is like diarrhea of the mouth!
I always try to avoid my melodramatic tendencies, yet it's always this damned annoying sore that I return my thoughts to. In retrospect, I was acting rash. I was acting impulsively. But I was angry as hell as well. Hell hath no fury like a woman scored. Albeit without romantic undertone. I succumbed to the urge to make that infamous voice message. I would not change a thing; not a word, not a staggered breath, not a lonesome salty tear.
I was trying to force his hand into telling me why he was treating me so unfairly. I pride myself on being an exceptional friend and it pains me when someone is not returning the favor. It is doubly insulting when you feel that you've been lied to and the truth circumvented under your nose on tip-toe. It not only speaks of how lowly they must think of your thought processes but how they perceive your friendship as well. As a throw-away, fair-weather animal you've both fooled yourselves into believing was not rabid and not in need of putting down.
Still I muse again, it is not too late to refasten these ties and rebuild this house of cards anew.
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4 comments:
is it national my-world-is-so-uncontrollably-disorganized month and we were not informed?
p.s. WELCOME! i expect great things, tia. GREAT THINGS [no pressure]
when things go wrong, do you know who i blame?
the gov't.
it's bush's fault.
oh jia,
you deserve to be treated better
youre worth so much more =T
i hope that things get better
stay resilient
im sorry we havent talked on the phone as of late
things have just been so hectic
&family things are not helping
anyways!
welcome to blogger :D
i love thee!
ps. your house of card references made me want to listen to this song
http://songza.com/z/g7wsgv
"forget about your house of cards &ill do mine. fall off the table &get swept under"
oh elma, you always know how to make me feel better :]
resilient still!t
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